...And Breathe

Wow as if it’s nearly Christmas! I swear I just blink and a week disappears. But that being said when I look back it’s so strange to think about all that things that have changed in just one turn around the sun.  

Okay, so last year more drastic  changes seemed to take place- leaving a full time job, going to uni, leaving home, living by myself, getting back into the mind-set of studying, fending for myself ; all of which were very big and very scary leaps. Whereas this year things have definitely slowed down, and in a sense I’ve taken a step back by moving back home and commuting to uni.  Yet even though the physicality of my world is much more ‘same old same old’ it doesn’t mean that the changes I’ve made are insignificant in comparison. 

I think it’s so easy to look around us and think ‘they’re doing that so I should be doing this' ‘they look like that so I should change to look like this’ ‘THEY'RE GOING THERE SO I SHOULD GO HERE’ and ultimately feel an intense amount of pressure to measure up and emulate those who seem to be doing so well. 

So many of us have extreme personalities (or aspects of our personalities which are extreme) pushing ourselves to the absolute limit in order to achieve these things that we feel are so vital in order to have a fulfilled life… but even when you reach those limits  it’s not enough. You’re still unfulfilled.  You push harder.  A never ending glass ceiling.

So even though I haven’t ventured off into the smoke to lead a dramatic, exciting and nonstop life full of Gatsby parties and countless tales for me to blah on about when I catch-up with  friends at Christmas. And even though I am by no means now a fully functioning, well rounded, and admirable member of society- I feel I am that little bit closer, my mind that little bit boarder, and most importantly that little bit happier and more content with the way things are.

 I’m sure I’m not the only one.

One Week.

Here's just a few things that i have done/experienced/ learned /listened too over the last week :)

Read This Poem 

To a Passer‑by

The street roared round me, deafening.

Tall, slender, in deep mourning, regal woe,

A woman passed, lifting her furbelow,

Holding her hem up, graceful, wondering;

Noble and lithe, her leg was sculptural.

And I myself, with wild intensity,

Drank in her eyes, a sombre, stormy sky,

The sweetness that enthrals; the joy that kills.

A lightning flash ... then night! Love passing by,

Whose sudden glance bestowed new life on me,

Shall I not see you till eternity?

But it's too far! Too late! Never, maybe!

I know not where you are ‑ you, where I go,

You whom I should have loved ‑ and felt it so!

— Charles Baudelaire

I read this poem for my 1st week back and uni- it may seem unbelievably cheesey but to me it just seemed so honest, open and romantic. And who doesn't like a bit of romance.

Its set during a time when industrialization and population was booming and with it came this idea of the urban metropolitan crowd. A crowd which was filled with ever changing faces; a profoundly new and exciting experience for the time. 

Basically its all about what might have been, about things and people just passing by, about missed opportunity. He is intensely taken with her, and in just a moment she disappears. She is taken from his life forever and he feels from just that one moment he could have loved her.

Bought These Shoes

Literally wanted a pair of these badboys for toiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime- and got a cheeky 10% student discount and got to use £20 worth of vouchers towards them. BARGAIN!

And This Tea

Rooibos creme caramel and Bollywood Chai

Listened To This

Marika Hackman- 'here I lie' (and the rest!)

Singer, songwriter, guitar player, spokesperson...all in all one talented lady.  I've had the pleasure of seeing her live (if you get a chance to see her I STRONGLY recommend you doing so). With nothing but a guitar she manages to own a stage and mesmerize an entire crowd. With auto tune and all that palavar, its so rare nowdays to find a musician that sounds even remotely similar to what they do through a pair of speakers. But if anything Marikas recordings don't do her justice- her voice is utterly beautiful and and charming, griping you instantly. I also feel there are so many man-made bands around at the moment, it can make the music seem so lifeless and forced; but the comradery between her and the rest of the band is so nice to see- the whole thing just looks so effortless. Something that will give them a longevity that many fail to achieve. Her music is moving, inpiring and completely captivating and i just can't stop listening.

'Here I lie' is taken from the Burberry eyewear campaign and she has been played a few times on radio 1. This is very much only the beginning. So get listening now, so when shes a MASSIVE name you can say 'I heard her 1st'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWgDPm6M8BA 

Did Some Of This

Okay maybe not that exactly, but i did start skiing lessons. Its one of the funnest things I have ever done. An hour and half lesson felt like it lasted all of about 10 minutes- and i didn't even get cold (which if you know me well is a rareaty) and I'm proud to say that i didn't spend the entire lesson on my bum. Its great learning a new skill/hobby. Its SO easy to get stuck in the same old safe routine, life just becomes a bit stale. So I thinks its very important to try as many new things as possible. Personally I can be a bit of and adrenaline junkie; if I could id be white water rafting, jumping out of planes,and abseiling off some unnecessarily large cliff. But being a poor student in the flatlands of Norfolk its not always very feesable. But even if all that malarky aint your thing, its still so vital to push yourself to see what your truly capable of. 

I love a challenge and love achieving something I have set out to do, so its such a fantastic feeling making it down the end of the slope and i cant wait for next week- holiday in the Alps here I come!!

The Commuters Playlist.

So I’m going back to uni tomorrow after a very lengthy 6 months off (I’m not too sure if I can actually remember how to read and write) and this year instead of living in London I’ll be commuting. So before I started on the endless amounts of books which I have to read in preparation; I thought it was vital that I had a playlist prepared for the journey….NO IT WAS NOT JUST PROCRASTINATION!

So here’s a few of my favourite tracks which will get my very early and long day off to the right start.

Jake Bugg- Saffron

Well thanks to Mr Bugg himself this song is actually available to download for FREE on his site and urge you to do so. I still can’t over how you young and how talented this guy is- his music is country and folk at its finest and I can’t wait for his album release in October. I love watching videos of him on YouTube as his style of playing is reminiscent to that of The Beetles; and I can’t help but hear a resemblance to the likes of Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan when listening to him. But that being said, it doesn’t mean that this fella doesn’t stand out of the mould as a complete separate and original entity. He plays the guitar in a way that literally melts my heart and his lyrics are utterly breath-taking. It‘s almost as if he’s just telling you a story about his day, but he does so so majestically he’s able to create a sense of place and atmosphere that instantly captures the imagination- I always end up making up a little film in my head.http://jakebugg.com/

Chasing Mary-Sydney

Now I’d like to think that I don’t have a bias here (have a listen and let me know) seen  as the singer, songwriter, producer etc  etc is all done by a bredrin of mine- but I’d like to  think I know good music when I hear it. And this isn’t just good music is feckin fantastic.  I can probably best describe the sound by saying it’s as if someone has taken all the finest elements of an eclectic taste in music (electronic, blues, rock) and created something truly wonderful. The lyrics are full of soul and passion that will resonate within anyone who listens. It’s strange how words can be so hard to say, but a song can strip someone bare; creating something wonderfully emotive. The music and lyrics are all tied together with a melodic vocal tone similar to that of The Smiths or Talking Heads. I think it’s a true talent when a musician can physically create a feeling within you, be it happiness, sadness or even anger-something Chasing Mary seems to achieve effortlessly. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chasing-Mary/106878969345388?ref=ts

Alt-J- Breezeblocks

I 1^st heard of this band on Zane Lowes festive festival, and just short of a year on they’ve only gone a got themselves nominated for a chuffin Mercury Music Prize. This is a group of lads who undoubtedly deserve every single moment of their success. Their music is like nothing I have ever heard of before- maybe folky synth is the closest thing I can think of. It’s an odd thing to say when talking about music; but I admire how they’re not afraid to play with silence. It’s within these moments that your mind and body is able to register the magnitude of the song. The effect is chilling, and makes for a magnificent listening experience. Joe Newman’s (the lead singer) vocals literally gives me chills, and the bands vocal harmonies are nothing but impeccable. http://altjband.com/

Bill Downs- Wayfairing Stranger

You gotta rep a local lad! But it’s not just because this guy comes the beautiful flatlands of Norfolk that he’s on my playlist, he is an exceptional talent with a voice that can only be described as faultless. I was actually lucky enough to see him sing live at a charity event that my sister  and  classmates organised in Norwich- yes I was that lame that I asked to have my picture taken with him (but when he’s big and famous I’ll be making a lot of people jealous with that picture).. He plays the guitar so naturally it might as well be another limb; and he puts every single ounce his energy into his performance you can’t help but become mesmerised. When I saw him, he sang his version of Wayfairing Stranger acapella; and something has to me said for a guy who is able to silence a room.  I really hope he gets the recognition he deserves.https://www.facebook.com/BillDownsMusic?ref=ts

So I’ll be commuting for the rest of the academic year- so any suggestions to add to my playlist is always appreciated :)

My Life In Books

I LOVE Elle magazines 'my life in books'- it's a great way of discovering new Novels to get stuck into and also it's nice when a book that you adore pops up. There’s something strangely comforting about knowing that someone loves a piece of writing as much as you do- whilst you were sitting reading something and becoming entirely captivated; in another time/ place/ moment someone was experiencing the same thing. How great is that! So Elle has inspired me to think about my own life in books...

Jenny's Bear

This was my 1st 'proper' book I guess- no longer was I reading 'cat' 'mop' 'zebra', but full on sentences (goooo me). It’s a bout a girl, her teddy bears, tea parties and the wonderful thing that is a child's imagination. I think the reason I loved it SO much was because me and Jenny were two sides of the same coin. In my bed there was more room for teddy bears than there was myself; and you could leave me in a room with nothing but some string and I'd be able to entertain myself. I still adore this book and its one that I will keep forever, passing it down to my own children. However even though back then 'pretend tea was the best kind there is', nowadays I'd much rather have propa cuppa!!

 

Dr Seuss: Collection

I couldn't possibly pick out just one! I grew up reading these stories and even now I'm 20 I find myself going back to them time and time again. Always being a daydreamer, I use to love getting lost in a world of Buffer-baum birds, North going Zax and South going Zax, circusfish, ham-ikka-schim-ikka-schnam-ikka-schnapp and of course Whoville. And to be honest, I still do. Dr Seuss inspires my mind to wonder and his words captivate my imagination- adding a silver lining to any grey cloud.

 

 

In Cold Blood

I read this just before I started my GCSE's (lucky me it turned out to be one of the Novels we had to study in year 11) and was completely engrossed from start to finish. The fact that it was true makes the story that more chilling. You can tell the amount of time Capote put into researching the event and you can really feel his close connection to the narrative and characters; in particular Perry Smith.
You get a fascinating insight into the complex psyche of the murderers who brutally massacred a family of 4. It’s strange but you actually become so intertwined with the lives of Smith and Hicock you find yourself listening to the reasoning of these two monsters. And with Perry, who seems to be stricken with grief and torment, I find myself actually sympathizing with him. It's this effect which is why I find the Novel so enticing; challenging me in a way that I don’t think any other book has been able to do.
Its like no other crime Novel. Within the 1st chapter the Clutter family is murdered and you know who the criminals are. So what’s the point of the other hundred odd pages?? Well, Capote beautifully portrays the after effect of such an event. Showing the impact the murders has not just on close family and friends, but the town as whole, the police investigating the case and although not explicitly laid out, the effect it had on Capote himself. The man is a true pioneer to the genre.

The Five People You Meet In Heaven

It’s not often that you read a book and it changes your perspective on what you think about life. But I read five people about a year ago on holiday and it made me laugh, cry, reminisce and truly warmed my heart. It’s a simple story of one man and the significance of his existence. Its makes you feels as if all the things your do day to day (not matter how minute) can leave a grand impression. And that even though you may only cross paths with another for the slightest of moments; those moments can help shape your life, who you are and how you think for ever. Something about this Novel really resonated within me, leaving me with and immense feeling of self worth. If you feel like everything maybe going up shit creek, read this book and everything just feels that little bit better.

Trainspotting

Now I have to be honest, when I first read this book it wasn't out of choice. It was actually part of my English Literature at uni- something which I am very grateful for. I think I watched the film YEARS ago (long before I probably should have been allowed) and even though the film is utterly fantastic; the book is on a whole other level (not a better one mind, just a different one). The two can’t be compared- they are two separate entities evoking entirely different thoughts and emotions.
Unlike the film where the characters and charming, comedic and to an extent likeable; the book portrays a group (who in all forms) are grotesque. Yet this is what makes the Novel so intriguing. Forcing you to listen to a voice that you would otherwise ignore, and take notice of a world that is often overlooked. It doesn’t glamorize drugs and the characters destructive lifestyle, but it doesn't demonize them either. It's just and open and frank portrayal of a subculture, which by the rest of society are dismissed.
This Novel is enticing, captivating and enriching. Welsh brilliantly creates a reality effect with the use of actual place, time, culture, music, and of course the dialogue, which although is hard to get your head round to begin with and first, the story and its effect wouldn’t be the same without it! 

Slacker

Okay so I've been REALLY bad at writing on her recently. I could come up with a thousand excuses of job, uni reading, holiday blah blah blah, but they are all very poor excuses. Its strange when I think about it, because I started this blog for the purpose of a creative outlet, in which i can practice my writing skills and discovering what it is I truly love to write about, what I'm good at writing about, and what people enjoy me writing about (so feedback is very much welcome!) But between work and other day to day 'necessities' it can become so  easy to just do sweet f.f and sit in my pants. But when I go off to bedfordshire all I can think is 'what a wasted day, and all I have to show for it is and ever expanding bum print in my bed!'
I love to be busy, having things to do, and going to bed utterly exhausted but with a Cheshire like grin on my face- so it makes no sense that when i have time to do, i just don't. I do find that my mind is constantly buzzing, unable to switch off. I guess sometimes i just get a bit stuck- having all these thoughts but know way of organising them and no clue where to start. My mind ends up getting a bit swamped and its ten times easier to just whack out the pants that it is to actually do anything about it.
But I'm going back to uni next week and it's as if I've blinked and missed summer- I had 6 months off but where the chuff did it all go?!? I wouldn't go as far to say I had some sort of grand epiphany, more of a slight realisation and a kick up the backside- If this year slipped through my fingers like water, then before I know it I'll be old and grey with multiple pairs of pants but not much else. I'm not saying i'd rather my life be like stone because then nothing would happen, but just making everything more tangible i guess, like a type of goo...but then I want it to be enjoyable so maybe more of a really hard tub of ice cream.
I know this sounds so cliche (i am actually rolling my eyes at , myself whilst writing this) but you do only live once, no one does remember the nights they had plenty of sleep, and right now is the oldest you've ever been and the youngest you'll ever been again. So if i roll in to uni absolutely shagged, then the reassurance of telling myself 'daym that was a good night out' is far better that just going through the motions. And its not just about countless night of debauchery, but the simple things like taking time to write on here, having a meal with the family, and visiting and spending time with friends who I miss and have probably neglected.
So, I started this blog mostly for fashion, but I think it may be nice to expand- style, culture, events, well life really. This way I'll have much more to blab on about and it will really give me a chance to explore my writing and find my niche.

Sorry for all this spiel (bit heavy for half 11 in the morning!) I do promise I am not trying to be a philosophizer and my posts wont turn into me ranting about the world and being all preachy; just thought this would be a good kickstart to get me into gear.

So yeah feedback, comments, questions, ideas are all welcome.


Bye bye pants- Today is my fooookin mountain yeah.

Summer Scrapbook

So far we have had a typical gloomy British summer; but not being one to give up hope I am still in anticipation for my favourite summer cliches- Those hot sunny days and warm everlasting nights, the feeling of sand in my toes and the smell of sea in the air, picnics in the forest and bbqs that last all day. Its these little things that make life, well, life!


“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.”

-F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

It is also my favourite season for fashion. I have a great love of fantasy and think that summer is the perfect time to express this. So here are a few looks I can't wait to try this year...weather permitting.

Club Tropicana (drinks are freeeeeeeee).

Getting a taste of the exotic with vibrant prints which will brighten up even the most sombre of days. Think palm trees, birds of paradise,citrus fruits and sunset colours.

Modern-day Cinderella.

Ballerina style dresses in soft colours look so elegant and would be perfect for a midsummer night. Would be amazing with some killer heels or grunged up with Dr Martens, leather jacket and layered metallic jewellery.

Riding the Waves of Fashion.

The beach babe look is one that is always a summertime winner. Minimal make-up with hints of colour teamed up with tousled hair and sun-kissed skin is effortlessly stylish. Its so easy to be overly polished when it comes to fashion and we end up spending so much time deciding if this goes with that and that with this; don't over complicate it. Sometimes all the planning, prepping and preening can be undermined with a simple gut instinct. Its all about warm earthy tones, loose unstructured clothing and layers of beaded bracelets.

Lighten up!

For a girly glamours look that works through the whole day and night; experiment with candy coloured shades that make you look as good as a 99. Pastels are one of the biggest trends this summer and is so diverse. It is something I cant wait to play around with with. Dresses and blazers add a sophisticated feel; whilst cute little shirts paired with denim skinnys are great for a lazy day in the sunshine.

Travel in more ways than one.

Light flowing fabrics, cropped tops, big ear-rings and embellishment are great for a Romany vibe to an outfit. Make a statement with chunky chains and buckles contrasted with elegant scarves and silks for that dishevelled bohemian look.