...And Breathe

Wow as if it’s nearly Christmas! I swear I just blink and a week disappears. But that being said when I look back it’s so strange to think about all that things that have changed in just one turn around the sun.  

Okay, so last year more drastic  changes seemed to take place- leaving a full time job, going to uni, leaving home, living by myself, getting back into the mind-set of studying, fending for myself ; all of which were very big and very scary leaps. Whereas this year things have definitely slowed down, and in a sense I’ve taken a step back by moving back home and commuting to uni.  Yet even though the physicality of my world is much more ‘same old same old’ it doesn’t mean that the changes I’ve made are insignificant in comparison. 

I think it’s so easy to look around us and think ‘they’re doing that so I should be doing this' ‘they look like that so I should change to look like this’ ‘THEY'RE GOING THERE SO I SHOULD GO HERE’ and ultimately feel an intense amount of pressure to measure up and emulate those who seem to be doing so well. 

So many of us have extreme personalities (or aspects of our personalities which are extreme) pushing ourselves to the absolute limit in order to achieve these things that we feel are so vital in order to have a fulfilled life… but even when you reach those limits  it’s not enough. You’re still unfulfilled.  You push harder.  A never ending glass ceiling.

So even though I haven’t ventured off into the smoke to lead a dramatic, exciting and nonstop life full of Gatsby parties and countless tales for me to blah on about when I catch-up with  friends at Christmas. And even though I am by no means now a fully functioning, well rounded, and admirable member of society- I feel I am that little bit closer, my mind that little bit boarder, and most importantly that little bit happier and more content with the way things are.

 I’m sure I’m not the only one.